Ballerina Dreams

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

Her feet that swayed and floated,

Waltzing and turning,

Over my sugar coated dreams.

The flowers of your hair resemble you, 

Their petals look like your lips,

And their color to your cheeks,

It is far from a coincidence, I usually think.

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

For life is too short,

And you are too young,

Keep spinning those feet,

Until the sky, waltzing, you meet.

That crown of roses that in your hair you wear,

Their scent is drawn away by yours,

Twice as sweet, and twice as good,

It is far from a coincidence, my mind repeats.

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

For you portray grace itself,

And your feet can finally reach,

Reach all of the stars we have seen,

With our own eyes many nights,

And guided us home with a song.

All the roses I see resemble you,

In scent, beauty and color,

There's no doubt when saying,

That for all the roses on this lonely Earth,

You were God's only muse

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

For the sun and moon have kissed you,

And the clouds and stars have joined you,

And all that is, is dancing,

Dancing along with you.

Oh, spinning beauty of love,

Have I seen one like you before,

I don't remember quite still,

For all the world I've seen in maps, 

But never in the colors you have just given it. 

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

The sun has gone to dance as well,

The moon is at your hight, but with respect,

It embraces all your moves, and like it, you start to glow,

The moon has joined you,

You became the moon.

If I hold you in my arms,

As a tiny little doll you'd be,

Fragile, and transparent,

Made of delicate white crystal,

Yet shining like diamonds, yet to show all their beauty.

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina, 

As on Earth the day is over,

But the dawn lies far away,

For we both have ran farther,

Than any man has been.

And all the stars,

And moons,

And suns,

All have joined her,

And all are dancing,

Slowly becoming part of her,

And her becoming part of them,

They're all one, and dance to the melody of the universe,

The purest melody of the purest of love.

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

As no matter how far from the world we are,

No matter how much we dance,

I'll always be here,

Holding your rose scented hand,

Stretching mine to reach you.

Even if on Earth I lay,

While the cosmos you explore,

My head high I'll hold still,

As you come back, to wipe my tears away.

Dance, dance, my beautiful ballerina,

For your dancing feet are not tired,

And keep spinning and waltzing,

To the melody of God,

But if you keep turning and turning,

And I find myself lucky,

Those feet will bring you back to me again.

This poem came out of my head today, I had been thinking of ballet, and I think it is one of the most graceful, and beautiful ways to express love and art. The music is complementary, and quite essencial as well, I think instrumentals are songs that express the composer's soul without lyrics, but make it even more real, it becomes the symphony of the composer's heart, and the dance is another symphony joining it, and showing they're own melody by graceful movement. I adore ballet with all my might, and as much as I would love to dance ballet, maybe it's for the best, my weak knees would not manage to do most of the moves, for as elastic as I can get to be. Besides, from afar I can watch it and see it, and quietly join it. Quietly, subtly become one with many of the souls that dance, and my eyes can see the music notes flying from outside their chests, along with their feelings and love for the world. Dancing is their way of showing the world their gratefulness, their gratefulness of hearing their own hearts beating, and their skin tickling, and lungs breathing.

Or at least that's what I think...

The kisses of a thousand winds, and the waltzing of a thousand stars,

-Maria Gabriella Parraga

It all started with a bike...

It all started with a bike,
And a boy who was it's owner,
With brown hair and big eyes,
And a mouth shaped like petals.

Why?
That's the only question I can possibly formulate,
It's the only one whom I seek answer,
Yet probably the only one whose answer I'll never get.

It all started with a bike,
And a girl who loved to ride them,
Whose best friend just moved to her neighborhood,
Barely a couple doors away.

It hurts, and much more on the inside of the shell,
The shell I want to wear,
The shell that protects me from pain,
But never did such a good job either.

It all started with a bike,
And the girl's twin brother,
Who kindly introduced both,
The two best friends to the boy.

I still hear it when the world is silent,
When the hearts decide to quiten,
When my ears catch its painful sound,
The sound of breaking bones, crunching strongly.

It all started with a bike,
And a playful game the girls played,
And a handsome boy who played with them,
Of stealing the boy's bike to ride it.

One day it all changed,
And I deep down feel the victim,
How could it all feel so dead to me?
Even the inside of myself.

It all started with a bike,
And a bad friend who wanted the boy to herself,
Who sent the girl through a joke,
To take a ride on the bike.

She didn't do it on purpose, I like to think,
No one is ever so mean,
And she could get what she wanted, it's true,
But, it's so impossible to believe...

It all started with a bike,
And a rock from a constuction,
That stood in the middle of a speedbump,
And was not seen by the girl.

She didn't do it on purpose, I like to think,
But maybe she just did,
After all it's not the first time,
She could get what she wanted by wishing tragedy others.

It all started with a bike,
That easily fell foward,
Making the girl fly two meters and a half,
Until her body met the street.

But now I know well,
My chance has gone away,
My body is mistreated and hurt,
And even if denied, it seeks comfort.

It all started with a bike,
That broke a girl's heart,
Her soul,
And three of her bones.

And what did you do when I was gone, ''my friend''?
Did you come to visit me?
Did you even call me?
Did you rembember I existed?

Or did I become as invisible as you were before me?
Before I taught you how to enjoy life,
How to make innocent pranks,
How to live an authentic life,
And not a shiny plastic fake mask.

As invisible as you say you are,
But know you just were,
You think it's fine, but it's not,
To step on my heart like you already did.

The answer is easy,
And even painful to say,
You didn't care a damn about me,
You just went straight to get him.

And you are such a bounder,
You even asked me for advice on how to get him,
And I was brainless enough to help you,
Now I see how it all blooms, from a far distant place.

Why are you so selfish?
Why am I so selfless?
You only care about you,
I do anything but that.

I told you so many times what I felt for him,
But you didn't even listen,
For you are so deft when it comes to hearing,
Something you don't want to hear.

Now you tell me you never knew,
When I was finally brave enough to tell you,
You just told me I never told you,
Lying is a sin, in case you didn't know.

It all started with a bike,
And the boy rides it everyday,
And the two girls ride it ocasionally,
Together just the two best friends.

Maybe it's all moving on,
And I'm the one stuck in the past,
I know I should head foward,
Yet it pains me for my story to go unheard.

Maybe you two will never read this,
Your eyes are full of the other's,
Maybe you two will never speak about it,
Your mouths are too busy doing something else.

I can not possibly say I hate her,
She is my very best friend,
I feel that somehow I am princess,
Who wants to play prince as well.

I want to be rescued,
Yet rescue everyone else first,
If a boat finds itself sinking,
I'll probably sink with it as well.

It all started with a bike,
That lead a friend and a boy to love,
Itself and a girl to a crash,
And her heart and her bones to a breaking.

I wrote this when I was really depressed, and I hope I don't give a bad portrayal of my best friend, it was just the moment of all those stacked up and held back feelings I just couldn't help it, she did do all I wrote here though, don't think I got to carried away and exaggerated things. I decided to upload it anyway since I think it ended up looking pretty beautiful (depressing) but beautiful. I now think I'm over him, but he was never really the thing... The opportunity of falling in love was what she took away from me, and I can't help but feel jealous a bit. Maybe the ressentment was what caused it to look so angry when I was actually crying a river calm when I wrote it.

The heat of a thousand stars and the scent of a thousand carnations,

-María Gabriella Párraga

What is a Soul?

What is a soul? How does it look like?

Perhaps like a never ending river,

Perhaps like a forever rich brown soil,

Perhaps like a never ending deep greenery,

Or a forever rich sentiment of love...

Has anyone seen one before?

Everybody says they haven't,

Everybody says you can't,

Everybody, yet, claims to have one.

Of unraveling that mystery,

I find myself far,

Of what causes my misery,

And fills me with scars.

The scars themselves are invisible,

Can only be seen through the eye,

Since through them the soul is reachable,

And those colorful orbs can not lie.

Must I search the world in vain,

Until the end I shall persist,

To find the source of that pain,

And to prove if it exists.

And though soul and eye have not met,

And the only proof we have is the feel,

My soul itself I'd trade and bet,

To know if it is real.

I let my frustrations fly along the wind,

Until one day they found the reaper,

And all the way back to me they'd grind,

Just to bring me a deadly whisper.

No answer whatsoever,

So I must find another choice,

Someone who knows what is forever, 

And whom I can reach their voice.

And since death and life are like peas on a pod,

My frustrations by something strange were led,

By love and peace they were fed,

And found themselves in front of God.

His voice my ears could caress,

My heart would dance and move,

So heavily against my dress,

As a light my whole would sooth,

And my body embrace.

"My daughter", the light announced,

The grim whisper was slowly banned,

And as he talked my drumming chest bounced,

"Do not worry, for I have everything planned".

That is all he said to me,

And around me I built a coffin,

For as much as I could see,

He had told me nothing.

I went all the way to the hills,

Where a monk prayed along the chills,

And even if with questions I was infested,

He did not look molested.

Then I unleashed my doubts on him,

As I rambled my voice was sour,

What is a soul, I repeated firm,

Yet he stood quiet, and gave me a flower.

I looked not at it, and instead braided,

That plant to my hair, and kept walking,

I thought the monk was surely mocking,

For the smile on his face had not faded.

I rolled my eyes and left the mountains,

As the grassland turned to sea shells,

I found myself before a fountain,

Believed by the people to grant wishes.

I sat with fear along its border,

And at the liquid crystal gazed,

As I touched the water became amazed,

I had imagined it'd be colder.

I tossed a coin and made my wish,

It sank next to golden purple fish,

Opened my eyes expecting power,

Yet instead in front of me fell the flower.

Realization upon me spread well,

As I looked at it's yellow petals,

And as heavy as solid metal,

My answer finally fell.

As my reflection on the water showed,

My euphoric eyes would gaze,

At my grinning lips that laced,

As they said " I shall never know"

The colorfulness of your soul, and the brightness of a thousand stars,

-María Gabriella Párraga